When I embarked on My professional femdom journey, it was with a novice understanding of kink, a full-time vanilla job, and a practice rooted firmly in global reparations. I wasn’t looking for a career, just a way to blow off steam. I never expected to find as much fulfillment as I have. Just over four years later, what began as an outlet for My righteous rage and sadistic proclivities has evolved into a lifeline. I’m by no means a veteran of the trade and still have much to learn, but this last year has shown Me just how vital this work is for Me.

2023 brought Me to new heights in My career and afforded Me profound experiences. It also manifested deep loneliness in ways I never anticipated. I explored new tools of My craft, guided by some of the leading industry experts. I met and learned from My femdom heroes, many of whom I now consider friends. I also spent much of the year quietly battling my body’s chronic illness. Networking became a logistics nightmare and in-person sessioning was impossible as a result. The limitations of My body effectively isolated me from My community and stalled much progress in My work. It was hard to not internalize the disappointment that followed.

My greatest saving grace throughout these struggles was building connections with kinky community, especially with My fellow Dommes. Throughout the year I cultivated relationships with fellow kinksters who have propped Me up and reaffirmed My place in this industry. I returned to old stomping grounds for the first time in years to attend Exxxotica, immersing Myself in the spectrum of kinky desire. I relished in the ostentatious display of sexuality that is the Folsom Street Fair.

My most impactful experience, unsurprisingly, centered female domination. At the opening of Wicked Eden, I connected with My femdom heroes and veteran colleagues offered advice for adapting My business to My fluctuating needs. I even met and vetted a new sub while getting to know other workers. The weekend-long event helped restore My connection with the femdom community, and affirm My love for this work. And the after party… 🥵.

Then shit hit the fan in fall. While My social feeds were flooded with the news of multiple active genocides, I lost a family friend to cancer. These compounding pains made it impossible to focus on anything, especially work. I broke. For months, I retreated from My life as a Dominatrix while navigating waves of grief. But I didn’t let it stop Me. I leaned on the many relationships I had formed earlier in the year, and was reminded of the commitment to global reparations that inspired this journey four years ago.

A decolonized world necessitates perseverance. Even if the work falters, it must persist. And so I did. With the help of My community, I found a way to sustain Myself through the weight of these challenges.

Taking time away from work for the last few months has helped Me clarify My purpose in this space and taught Me to balance self-care with commitment to My cause. It also affirmed that regardless of My capacity to give, the community I have formed in these last four years will always be there to support Me.