Skip to content

How to Properly Approach a Black Domme

SEPT 24, 2020

Black women have long been the lustful desire of men (and women) across races for centuries. It’s no surprise that this trend carries over into the world of BDSM. If the unanswered messages in My inbox are any indication, many of you have active hard-ons for the unmatched beauty of Black women, but absolutely no idea how to properly approach us. Sound familiar? Don’t worry, I’ve compiled the steps to approach the Black Domme of your dreams without immediately getting blocked. Pay attention.

First and foremost, pay her. Even considering the gains made in recent decades, Black women remain the lowest paid group in America by race and sex. Our labor has been historically undervalued, even and especially within the sex industry. Disrupt this oppressive narrative by sending money before you are asked or required to do so. If you’re looking to approach a FinDomme, then initial tribute is non-negotiable. However, even if the Domme of your eye has no specified financial kink, it will serve you well to show your devotion and appreciation with a monetary contribution.

Thoroughly digest her free content. Before reaching out to an established Domme, you should learn all you can about her interests and personality. A great way to do this is by ingesting all of her free content. Most Dommes have a presence among the three major social media networks: Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. If she has a website, be sure to thoroughly devour each page. Do more than goon over her pictures. Pay special attention to her words, particularly when she talks about things that aren’t kink-related. What hobbies does she discuss? What shows and movies does she like or dislike? Having an idea of her interests, both in and outside of kink, will give you a better idea of how you can best serve her.

Buy her premium and paid content. Not only does this show your interest, but it also gives you a peek into her domination style and personality. Subscribe to her fansites, buy her paywalled content, and engage appropriately if you like what you see. For example, if she sells video or audio clips, order a custom. Remember that she is running a business, and client reviews are tantamount. If there’s a specific piece of media of hers that you love, mention that to her following your purchase.

Craft your introduction thoughtfully. Put thought into how you introduce yourself to your Superior. Think back to the details you learned when exploring her free media. Do you share any common interests? Is there anything about her that you’d like to know more about? Avoid beginning correspondence with an unrequested list of your biggest turn-ons, wildest fantasies, or meticulously crafted perversions. There will be plenty of time to get into your kinky wants once she’s expressed interest in learning about them. Bombarding her with this information before she even knows your name is in poor taste and shows that you care more about your own desires than getting to know her.

Patiently wait for her response. Dommes have lives outside of BDSM, and it’s best to keep this in mind as you await a response to your initial message. If you’ve followed the steps I’ve outlined here, she will be eager to learn more about you. In the meantime, stay up to date on her free media, engage with her new paid content drops, and make sure you’re ready for her eventual reply.